Are you doing things on purpose? When was the last time someone stepped on your foot and kept walking as if nothing happened? Most of the time, such an episode is likely to pass without further incident. However, if your day is already on the verge of becoming the next daytime reality series, that one little misstep is likely to be viewed as a foot stomp. In the final analysis, such an incident means absolutely nothing. In fact, I propose that, even if the person stepped on your foot "on purpose," the best that you can do is say, "No worries." And then let bygones be bygones. True story: I was at an intersection in Saginaw, Michigan, when I decided to pull into a gas station and call my mobile-phone service provider to inquire about the horrific reception I was receiving in that area of the state. As I sat in my rental vehicle, trying to decipher the garbled questions from the customer-service representative, I watched a young man get out of his car, smash his lit cigarette into the top of a trash can, and toss the still-lit half-smoked cigarette into the trash can. I know what you’re thinking… “With the cost of cigarettes these days, who smokes just half of a cigarette?” But seriously, I watched the trash can intently, focused on the dark recesses of the opening. And, then... there it was: the first small signs of a smoldering fire. At this point, I knew I had to either tell someone or put out the fire myself. Actually… there was a third option – I could have just left the gas station. But I didn’t leave. And I didn’t try to put out the fire. However, I did get out of my vehicle and tell the store clerk… and I specifically mentioned the large rack of propane tanks that sat in a cage flush up against the trash can. The clerk immediately filled a bucket with water and doused the little flame that could have been so much more. Ahhh… imagine the “what if’s.” What if I had not stopped at that seemingly random gas station? What if I did, indeed, had stopped, but spent the entire time totally engrossed in my conversation with a customer-service representative that was located in another far-off state? What if the trash can did fully ignite and cause the propane tanks to explode like little bombs, one after the other? What if… Actually, we can’t go on living thinking about “What if?” How do I know this? I know it the same way you and everybody else knows it… We have all seen someone transition from life at some point in our lives. And we also know that we, too, will someday delve into another realm of reality. Yet, in an interesting Catch-22-recipe of fate, faith, and denial, we speed toward our eventual death as if life goes on forever. It does. But that’s not my point. My point is this: When someone steps on your foot, it’s usually an accident. But if they did, indeed, do something to you on purpose (whatever it is), their actions should still have absolutely nothing to do with YOUR purpose. Today I want you to believe, think, and KNOW that your life… the mind, body, and soul that is you… is definitely not an accident. So, let’s not live our lives as if we’re waiting for an accident to happen. After all, accidents will happen. Mistakes will be made. Tears will be shed. And you know what? Life will go on! And you should, too. And you should go on in a way that ensures your life is shimmering with the fulfillment of your purpose… not in a manner that gives a higher response to people doing “bad things” to you on purpose. Regardless of what their purpose is... focus on your purpose. Regardless of their imperfections, focus on your path to an Ideal Life. I am not perfect – and neither are we (you, he, she, and me). To me, imperfection is wonderfully liberating! Knowing that we are not perfect gives me knowledge and hope that I am not a hopeless heap of hopelessness. Yet, all too often, we second-guess our respective God-given talents and abilities simply because we are afraid to make mistakes. Have you ever wondered why it’s called “second guessing?” It’s called “second-guessing” because we actually initially KNOW what we should do. But instead of going with what we know, we second-guess ourselves (our S.E.L.F.), which is rather ironic in the fact that the ONE thing we should know, better than anything, is ourselves. Perhaps we should start fist-knowing… and then “second-knowing” instead of second-guessing. Remember: Your dreams are accomplished by first setting up your goals. Your goals drive your plans. And your plans tell you what you should do every single day of your life. Or, perhaps some of you see it this way: Plans are steps to achieving our goals, which help us achieve our dreams. Both of those statements say the same thing… and, if we really want to achieve our goals, we simply have to write them down. As we write them down, our dreams are transformed out of our head and into the physical world...and into a written plan. So tell me… with all this extra time we have on our hands during this pandemic, have you authored your dreams, your goals, and your plans? If you have, indeed, written them down… you are in a much better position to avoid accidents, predict the future, and live your life ON PURPOSE... ...your purpose! Aloha, John John H. Clark III is an optimistic realist.
Principal consultant at The PIE Group, and Executive Director of TeenBuilding USA, [a non-profit 501c(3)], John believes better development of leaders is what we (all) need. And to be better organizations, we need more good leaders, not followers. To build better leaders, we must start with the individual (you, she, he, and me). Described as “an innovative leader,” John teaches leaders, organizations, and individuals how to inspire each other. With a bold goal to inspire a worldwide community of optimistic realists who continuously accept, adapt to, and achieve the bold and beautiful concept of The Ideal Life, John is leading a movement to inspire people to apply his trademarked mantra {Accept. Adapt. Achieve! ®}. An innovative business manager and retired naval officer, John is fascinated by leaders and organizations that make the greatest impact within their organizational culture and within the “real” world — people who “get it.” Over the course of his life as a military leader, corporate mentor, and innovative content creator, John has discovered a wealth of insight about how we think, act and communicate within our respective work/life environments. As a career naval officer, mentor, educator, and optimistic realist, he has devoted his life to sharing insights to assist in our quests to become better at what we all do – live @ work! An optimist with a penchant for writing about realistic solutions to the challenges of everyday life, John is the author of 3 books: a leadership-development insider, The Ideal: Your guide to An Ideal Life, a teen-focused guide, Getting Out: Expert Advice for Today’s Teens, and the Christian-based book, God’s Heartbeat: A Powerful Premise for Leading a Christian Life. He delivers a unique and refreshing point of view to life's seemingly overwhelming situations. Through books, blogs, and everyday conversation, John's message resonates with an empowering blend of ideals that enrich, uplift, and “authorize” people to set and achieve goals far beyond current mindsets. His trademarked phrase is a winner: YOU tell ME: How big is the problem?
Have you ever noticed that little wonder of a planet that we simply call The Moon? As often as I can, I try to enjoy the moon in all of its splendid, majestic beauty. There it is, suspended just outside the almost unlimited reach of earthlings like you and me. Here we are, undervaluing the beauty of such a lovely orb. I would guess that most of the world’s population thinks of the moon as a pretty circle of light – when it’s full – and little more than a sliver or a section of a shiny plate during the other phases of the moon. Indeed, most of us forget that the moon is not a circle, nor is it shiny. The moon, so close, but yet so far, is actually a tiny little planet that lights the night with the same light of the day: The Sun. It’s so easy to neglect the moon and its simple beauty. As earthlings, our focus is near, here, and close to things we hold dear. But on many a moonlit light, I love to sit and gaze intently at the moon, just long enough for my eyes to begin to appreciate its spherical shape. I like to see the bright light fade into the soft shadows of the eventual celestial darkness as the rounded edges of our nearest heavenly body give way to the infinite confines of space. I like knowing that something so big is so close… yet not quite here. In life, our troubles often mirror this astronomic relationship that we enjoy with the moon. All too frequently, we spend too much time focusing on what we think the object is, as well as wasting our time trying to solve long-term problems with short-term fixes. Like my gentle, gazing stare while trying to consume the true beauty of the spherical moon, we could gain significant insight if we sought an accurate understanding and perspective on the depth of our personal issues while simultaneously seeking longer-term solutions for long-term troubles. What does this galactic mumbo-jumbo really mean? It means that we must acquire an ability to look at the big picture if we want to settle our issues in an effective manner. How big is the picture? Well, I’ll tell you this: If your problems are really big… the picture HAS to be really, really big (that’s one extra “really”). By definition, the solution to our troubles has to be effectively bigger and better than our troubles. Yet, like the earthbound moon-gazer who never sees more than a shiny circle because of his focus here on earth, we often spend too much time focusing on our troubles, and we never see the oh-so-close solution that has been rotating around us for quite some time. How big is the picture? You tell me: How big is the problem? In corporate America, many companies employ something called a “S.W.O.T. analysis” to address current and projected problems. The S.W.O.T. acronym stands for Strengths, Weaknesses, Opportunities, and Threats. And the S.W.O.T. analysis is based upon objective environmental scans regarding each one of these discrete characteristics. More than a simple list of characteristics, the analysis often involves an internal analysis of Strengths and Weaknesses… and an external analysis of Opportunities and Threats. For example, an organization might consider its sales force to be an industry leader, and, as such a corporate Strength. On the other hand, if the same organization’s Human Resources department has a big problem with turnover, the internal Weakness can actually create an external Threat if competing companies try to lure salespeople and HR personnel from the organization. Ideally, companies should align their Strengths to offset their Weaknesses, and seek Opportunities within their environmental Threats. The Apple (computer company) did just that a few years ago when the company launched the iPhone, iPod, and iPad. Not only did Apple take on the threatening world of smart phones, music devices, and tablet computers… they redefined those products and simultaneously delved into direct retail, opening hundreds of Apple stores… cutting out the middleman while watching the company’s stock skyrocket from a measly $40 a share to well over $1,000 a share today (when adjusted for stock splits). The previous Chief Executive Officer (CEO), Steve Jobs, placed a relentless focus on "elegant simplicity." And what did customers do? They subsequently focused on Apple, creating an intensely loyal fan base that is arguably unprecedented within the computer industry. So where does this conversation about the moon and computers leave us? As the Chief Executive Officer of the organization of cells, muscle, bones, and thought that is the person known as you… you really need an intense focus on a few things to become and remain successful. And like the constantly changing corporations of the world, you, too, need a sorta-kinda S.W.O.T. analysis. I call it simply a S.E.L.F. analysis. Specifically, when we are faced with some really freakin’ big problems, we simply HAVE to review the four parts of S.E.L.F.: ** Spiritual Emotional Logical Finite. The Spiritual part of self is definitely real. I won’t spend time in this post trying to convince you that we are not just flesh and bones; you already know that. But did you know that by simply meditating on a regular basis, you can strengthen your Spirituality? Next is the Emotional part of S.E.L.F. This area requires the most work, primarily because many people believe their Emotions matter most. And as I have said before, if we believe it, it’s true (to whomever believes it). What are you doing to drive your Emotions to a calm, enduringly positive state? Oh… and in case you didn’t know: by simply meditating on a regular basis, you can navigate your Emotions to a calm, enduringly positive state. Logically speaking, life is not so bad when you consider the alternative. Ironically, one of our biggest challenges in life is a human tendency to seek a Logical resolution to every problem. Indeed, our thoughts are often the very things that seem to keep us mired in challenging situations. Or is it our Emotions? Actually, by simply meditating on a regular basis, we can better integrate our sense of Spirituality, our need for Emotional balance, and our continuous penchant for a valid understanding of why things happen the way they do, don’t, did, and didn’t. Finally, there is the Finite. What is this Finiteness? It’s the vehicle in which your drivers of Spirit, Emotion, and Logic sit safely in until the day when our Spirit is called to do something different. Indeed, this will not go on forever, at least not in the same Finite frame. Interestingly, three of the four parts of S.E.L.F. are intangible but very real. Interestingly, all four parts of S.E.L.F. become magically integrated into a really, really, really, really, really big solution system by simply meditating. Hmmm... Can you think of a good first step toward resolving some seemingly big problems? Your mission for today: S.E.L.F. CONFIRM Aloha, John John H. Clark III is an optimistic realist.
Principal consultant at The PIE Group, and Executive Director of TeenBuilding USA, [a non-profit 501c(3)], John believes better development of leaders is what we (all) need. And to be better organizations, we need more good leaders, not followers. To build better leaders, we must start with the individual (you, she, he, and me). Described as “an innovative leader,” John teaches leaders, organizations, and individuals how to inspire each other. With a bold goal to inspire a worldwide community of optimistic realists who continuously accept, adapt to, and achieve the bold and beautiful concept of The Ideal Life, John is leading a movement to inspire people to apply his trademarked mantra {Accept. Adapt. Achieve! ®}. An innovative business manager and retired naval officer, John is fascinated by leaders and organizations that make the greatest impact within their organizational culture and within the “real” world — people who “get it.” Over the course of his life as a military leader, corporate mentor, and innovative content creator, John has discovered a wealth of insight about how we think, act and communicate within our respective work/life environments. As a career naval officer, mentor, educator, and optimistic realist, he has devoted his life to sharing insights to assist in our quests to become better at what we all do – live @ work! An optimist with a penchant for writing about realistic solutions to the challenges of everyday life, John is the author of 3 books: a leadership-development insider, The Ideal: Your guide to An Ideal Life, a teen-focused guide, Getting Out: Expert Advice for Today’s Teens, and the Christian-based book, God’s Heartbeat: A Powerful Premise for Leading a Christian Life. He delivers a unique and refreshing point of view to life's seemingly overwhelming situations. Through books, blogs, and everyday conversation, John's message resonates with an empowering blend of ideals that enrich, uplift, and “authorize” people to set and achieve goals far beyond current mindsets. His trademarked phrase is a winner: I spent some time video chatting with an adorable six-month-old baby a few days ago. We kept the conversation light and fun. I didn’t go into too many details about my day… and neither did she. She said a few things that I didn’t quite understand, but I didn’t think it would matter much if I asked for clarification. Instead, I just repeated what she said – or at least I tried to repeat what she said – but she was really speaking her own little language… and so was I. But aren’t we all? This short story about the video conversation I had with the baby could have easily been a story about a conversation I had with an old friend, ex-wife, or foreign exchange student. If you think I’m off my rocker, read this: I spent some time video chatting with a FOREIGN-EXCHANGE STUDENT a few days ago. We kept the conversation light and fun. I didn’t go into too many details about my day… and neither did she. She said a few things that I didn’t quite understand, but I didn’t think it would matter much if I asked for clarification. Instead, I just repeated what she said – or at least I tried to repeat what she said – but she was really speaking her own little language… and so was I. Interesting, eh? In reality, each and every one of us has our own special way of talking. However, mere "talking" is not "communication." For communication, there are four required components: - The sender; - The receiver; - The message; and - The medium. From the time we were born into this world, we began developing our very own communication idiosyncrasies. Of course, we learned most of our initial communication styles from people who were closest to us: our parents, siblings, and (sooner or later) our friends. But as much as we learned from them, we remain forever true to ourselves, developing our own communication style while sampling bits and pieces of the things we have seen, thought about, and heard. Indeed, our communication is definitely affected by what we see, as well as what we hear. Understanding this little factoid helped me devise an effective way to approach a sensitive topic with my wife many years ago. A few months after our wedding, I asked her to join me in listing our respective strengths and weaknesses: We each began with a sheet of plain printer paper, and created four columns: - Two columns of adjectives that I listed about her… and - Two columns of adjectives that she listed for me. We both filled out our respective sheets of paper by listing 10 characteristics in each column. Thus, she listed 10 strengths and 10 non-strengths for me. And I did the same for her. And then came the time to share our perceptions. Of course, I expected our respective descriptions of strengths to go rather smoothly, and it did. On the other hand, I was somewhat concerned about the subsequent conversation regarding our perceived weaknesses (I think I called them non-strengths). So, given my concern about sharing and receiving what we perceived to be each others' non-strengths... what did I do? I planned for an effective conversation. I rented a minivan and invited her to the beach, where we sat in the back of the minivan, with the hatch open, listening to the soothing sounds of the whispering waves as they kissed the sandy shore. We sat with our backs flush up against one another, hers against mine - back-to-back - and mine against hers… both of us facing opposite directions, not looking at each other, but with our arms interlocked, literally feeling each others' every spoken word. And then we discussed our respective non-strengths. And I have to tell ya’… ...it was an amazing conversation. Interestingly, our top five or six descriptors of each other matched up pretty well (of course, mine were a bit more, uhm, kind. But, hey, I’m a writer, write? I mean… right?) Anyway… What’s my point? Whether political pandering, practical meandering, or just plain old social elaborating, conversations are, by definition, an exchange of words. Specifically, the definition of a conversation is: con·ver·sa·tion [kon-ver-sey-shuhn] - noun 1. Informal interchange of thoughts, information, etc., by spoken words 2. Oral communication between persons. (dictionary.com) Thus, whenever you are choosing (yes… you are the only one who chooses YOUR words)… whenever you are choosing to say something, you must ALWAYS first consider your desired effect. Hence, the term: EFFECTive communication. Our communications are only effective if and when they achieve the desired effect. Career politicians know this; that’s why they become masters of the sound bite. Effective parents understand this concept; that’s why they use the art of varying tones and voice inflection to add an additional layer of communication when successfully convincing their children to do something. Indeed, there’s quite a bit to be said about tone and voice inflection. For example, read the following sentences aloud, with an emphasis on the capitalized words (or with an emphasis on voice inflection for the question): You LOOK tired! (Says, “You look like crap!”) You look tired? (Says, “What’s wrong?”) YOU… look tired. (Says, “I am concerned, please rest here.”) Of the four main components of communication (sender, receiver, message, and medium), none of them reference tone. Interestingly, if you remove any one of these four components, communication abruptly stops. Even more interesting is this little fact: Even with all four components present (sender, receiver, message, medium)… without the right voice tone, communication will STILL stop. Yet even MORE interesting… If an when the sender and receiver speak different languages, as long as there is a commitment to effectively communicate... ... thy will be done. As we spend more and more time with our families over the next few weeks... And, as we make more time to reach out to relatives in a more meaningful way during this challenging time, remember to say what you need to say. Say what you mean to say. And mean what you say. Watch your tone. Don't just talk and hear; but focus on listening. You might discover a whole new and wonderful world. In a nutshell... COMMUNICATE EFFECTIVELY. Oh, and… Accept what is. Adapt to a changing landscape. Achieve the best possible outcome. Aloha, John Accept. Adapt. Achieve. ® John H. Clark III is an optimistic realist.
Principal consultant at The PIE Group, and Executive Director of TeenBuilding USA, [a non-profit 501c(3)], John believes better development of leaders is what we (all) need. And to be better organizations, we need more good leaders, not followers. To build better leaders, we must start with the individual (you, she, he, and me). Described as “an innovative leader,” John teaches leaders, organizations, and individuals how to inspire each other. With a bold goal to inspire a worldwide community of optimistic realists who continuously accept, adapt to, and achieve the bold and beautiful concept of The Ideal Life, John is leading a movement to inspire people to apply his trademarked mantra {Accept. Adapt. Achieve! ®}. An innovative business manager and retired naval officer, John is fascinated by leaders and organizations that make the greatest impact within their organizational culture and within the “real” world — people who “get it.” Over the course of his life as a military leader, corporate mentor, and innovative content creator, John has discovered a wealth of insight about how we think, act and communicate within our respective work/life environments. As a career naval officer, mentor, educator, and optimistic realist, he has devoted his life to sharing insights to assist in our quests to become better at what we all do – live @ work! An optimist with a penchant for writing about realistic solutions to the challenges of everyday life, John is the author of 3 books: a leadership-development insider, The Ideal: Your guide to An Ideal Life, a teen-focused guide, Getting Out: Expert Advice for Today’s Teens, and the Christian-based book, God’s Heartbeat: A Powerful Premise for Leading a Christian Life. He delivers a unique and refreshing point of view to life's seemingly overwhelming situations. Through books, blogs, and everyday conversation, John's message resonates with an empowering blend of ideals that enrich, uplift, and “authorize” people to set and achieve goals far beyond current mindsets. His trademarked phrase is a winner: As we journey through the next few weeks, many of us will flow in and out of various states of consciousness. |
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