I Dare You... #5 - S.T.O.P.

​Have you ever coordinated a grand event like a spectacular wedding, a work-related convention, or a large regional conference? Such an event takes massive planning, tremendous work… and, in the end, sometimes it takes sheer willpower and a whole lot of negotiating the right way with the right people to get the job done the way you had originally planned.  
 
In any event (pun intended), regardless of what happens – or what doesn’t happen – masterminding a major event requires an overall sense of commitment, communication, and above all, an expert ability to be able to focus on the issues at hand… while maintaining the flexibility to change your point of view, depending on the plan, the problem, and the people.
 
In today’s Dare, I offer one word: STOP. 
 
Actually, it’s more of an acronym.
 
For most people, the word “stop” simply means to cease the particular activity, or to halt and discontinue all operations. The three-word title of the previous dare was “Choose ONE Battle.” And the main point of that dare implied an almost fatalistic mentality. In fact, I wrapped up the dare with an allegory of a war within. 
 
And, if victory over self is our planned destination...
 
“We are where we need to be, when we need to be there. We’ll get there when we get there.”
 
To be sure, those statements are true. However, they are far from fatalistic.
 
And yet, I am amazed at the number of people who get angry while driving along the highway.
 
It’s not just their anger, it’s the conversations I hear later. I have heard people jump to a few startling conclusions when it comes to who they THINK is driving the vehicle in front of them on our community roads and highways. 
 
Never mind the judgmental overtones and underhanded remarks; what strikes me most is the sheer lunacy of “predicting” who the person is in the other car.
 
If it’s a Lexus; the driver must be a rich snob. If it’s an eight-year-old SUV, she must be (fill in a description here). If it’s a gold Ford Pinto… so she is probably (blah, blah, blah).
 
I’ve actually overheard remarks like this at restaurants, cafés, car washes, and many places in between. Worse yet, on top of the judgmental stereotyping, road rage continues to be a problem across this country… including my beloved Aloha State. In fact, a few years ago, shots rang out on the main highway here in Hawaii; someone was angry enough to shoot another driver.
 
Wow.
 
As startling as this may sound, there are far worse things happening every day, right in your very own personal space. All too often, we think we know people. We look at them every day and surmise this and assume that. 
 
We use the power of deduction to engage in acts of reduction… reducing our fellow soul mates to mere suppositions, beliefs, guesses, theories, and little hops of speculation until we can make the full jump to a conclusion.  
 
But like the vehicles on your local highway, this path we ALL walk is a mere freeway of forces far beyond our initial sensorial assessments. 
 
Indeed, there is so much than that which meets our blinded eyes.
 
Our bodies are merely the vehicles our souls use to navigate this stony path along the mantle of the earth’s crust. And like the speed demons on the local highways, there will always be those people who cut you off in life. 
 
Some people do it on purpose, and some people simply do it by mistake.  
 
For some odd reason, we are most angered by those that do it on purpose. We can’t seem to understand why someone would do this or that to us (whatever this or that might be). Well, my friend, count your blessings if you can’t comprehend such behavior. 
 
Because if you could somehow understand their destructive behavior… you would likely be capable of doing the same thing.
 
As for those other people who slip into our lane accidentally, or those who should speed up while in the fast lane… just remember that we, too, have fallen short of perfection… and we always will. 
 
In fact, THIS, my friend, is the beauty of the highway of life: We are all going nowhere fast. But as fast as we try to get there… we will get there when we get there. If this sounds like mumbo jumbo, please bear with me for just a few more lines.
 
Continuing with this sensationalistic allegory… may I politely remind you that, when you are driving your car, truck, SUV, etc… no one else is driving your vehicle – only YOU.
 
Likewise, in these earthbound vehicles that we see of each other every day, no one else can control our respective vehicles (bodies). Actually, that last statement is not quite true; when driving your vehicle, there is actually a time when you can control the vehicle that belongs to someone else. In real-world terms, police call it a wreck… a collision… a clash… an accident.
 
Accidents do happen. 
 
But when you try to control someone else’s life; that’s no accident. 
 
Of course, we can usually think of 493 reasons why we want someone else to do X, Y, or Z. But to get you or me going in the right direction, other people are going to need many more reasons than that! 
 
So, what’s my point?
 
Answer: What’s your purpose?
 
Whenever you do something grand like coordinate a cool party, a spectacular wedding, a work-related convention, or a large regional conference, you usually have a very specific plan.
 
Interestingly, the same thing applies for the smaller tasks in life as well.  
 
For example, consider a trip to your local store.
 
When you get in and start your car, you usually know where you are going. And, as such, there is absolutely no doubt that you will get to your destination. Say, for instance, you are headed out to pick up a gallon of milk. There is no uncertainty regarding your successful arrival at your destination. But what happens when you glance at the gas gauge and see that your vehicle needs more fuel.

Does your milk-run terminate? 
 
I think not. 
 
Moreover, what if, say, eight more side-stops pop up along the way? 
 
Is the successful milk run in jeopardy yet? 
 
I think not.
 
I think you left your home with a purpose, and you will, indeed, get that gallon of milk.
 
Today, I offer you an idea regarding a Home you left a long time ago.
 
You popped into your vehicle, left Home, and started travelling along this road in life. Along the way, a few people cut you off here and there. In fact, some people have actually tried to run you off the road.  
 
And then there were those people who stopped to help you when you needed a lift. There were those who filled you up when you needed fuel for your soul. Alas, there were also those people who tailgated YOU when YOU were driving too slowly or too fast to even think of looking in the rear-view mirror.
 
Yes, for too long, many of us have been too busy driving, and too busy paying attention to traffic directors who really have no idea how to navigate the traffic around the soul that is within the vehicle that contains YOU.
 
Today, I want you to slow down. Slow... all... the... way... down... and…
 
S.T.O.P.
 
Invest time to ensure you can -
 
Stay… Totally… On… Purpose.
 
The question is: What is your purpose?
 
I am often saddened when I think of the enormous effort, daily determination, and literal life that many people impart TO their employers, giving so much of themselves to a cause that is not their own – and probably never will be.  
 
Bequeathing healthy years to a well-paying employer is not, in and of itself, a bad thing.
 
But when was the last time you gave yourself – your SELF- the same level of dedication you give your job, career, or source of income? For example:
 
- A concerted consistency, every day (rain or shine) 
- A deep depth of determination (I know I can do more if I get paid more)
- A serious sense of commitment (I’m in it for the long haul)
- A consistent clarity of communication (I PLAN to do; WILL do it; DID it ) 
- An expert ability to focus intently on issues that affect me, my self, and I.
 
As soon as you know your very own specific purpose, you will believe in it.  
 
And, as soon as you believe in it, you will live it.  
 
And as soon as you live it, those other “crazy” drivers will have absolutely no control over you.
 
As soon as you discover, define, and declare your purpose, you will be able to focus on the finish line – not just avoid the starting line.
 
So tell me:
 
Where IS the starting line? 
 
ANSWER: Right here, right now.
 
I dare you…
 
Write down your purpose…
 
…and then STOP.
 
Stay Totally On Purpose.
 
Accept. Adapt. Achieve! ®
 
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​John H. Clark III is an optimistic realist.

Principal consultant at The PIE Group, John believes better development of leaders is what we (all) need.  And to be better organizations, we need more good leaders, not followers. To build better leaders, we must start with the individual (you, she, he, and me).
 
Described as “an innovative leader,” John teaches leaders, organizations, and individuals how to inspire each other. With a bold goal to inspire a worldwide community of optimistic realists who continuously accept, adapt to, and achieve the bold and beautiful concept of The Ideal Life, John is leading a movement to inspire people to apply his trademarked mantra {Accept. Adapt. Achieve! ®}.
 
An innovative business manager and retired naval officer, John is fascinated by leaders and organizations that make the greatest impact within their organizational culture and within the “real” world — people who “get it.” Over the course of his life as a military leader, corporate mentor, and innovative content creator, John has discovered a wealth of insight about how we think, act and communicate within our respective work/life environments. As a career naval officer, mentor, educator, and optimistic realist, he has devoted his life to sharing insights to assist in our quests to become better at what we all do – live @ work!
 
An optimist with a penchant for writing about realistic solutions to the challenges of everyday life, John is the author of 3 books: a leadership-development insider, "The Ideal: Your guide to An Ideal Life," a teen-focused guide, "Getting Out: Expert Advice for Today’s Teens," and the Christian-based book, "God’s Heartbeat: A Powerful Premise for Leading a Christian Life."
 
He delivers a unique and refreshing point of view to life's seemingly overwhelming situations. 
 
Through books, blogs, and everyday conversation, John's message resonates with an empowering blend of ideals that enrich, uplift, and “authorize” people to set and achieve goals far beyond current mindsets.  His trademarked phrase is a winner: