 SEPARATION: How to clean your rose-colored glasses. Change is inevitable. And because it is inevitable, some aspects are predictable. Yes, there will be friction between the old and the new. But remember: friction creates traction. And like the car’s tires that use friction to not only steer clear from here, but to also get from here to there, you can leverage changes in your life to better your circumstances, as well as the lives of others. Along the way, destroying bad habits, bad thoughts, and bad karma is not a bad idea. Likewise, having rose-colored glasses is actually a good thing. Just remember: windshields, thoughts, and even rose-colored glasses eventually need cleaning. The last 10 Dares are essentially a step-by-step guide to proactively clean your rose-colored glasses throughout the day and week. Start, maintain, and end your day with these 10 practical steps to Clean Your Glasses:
Today, I dare you to clean your rose-colored glasses with daily SEPARATION... Last week I was invited to speak to a group of middle-school students, and that visit has dramatically altered the way I view today’s future leaders. Maybe it’s just me, but it seems like many of the students in today’s schools are particularly talented, especially in the area of getting to the bottom line - fast. And this group of 8th graders seemed exceptionally skilled in this conversational art form. After leading the students on a journey through the importance of having good personal life-leadership skills, I donated 50 copies of my book, “Getting Out: Expert Advice for Today’s Teens,” and then I opened the floor to questions. After witnessing my presentation and the opening round of related questions, the principal and vice principal left the classroom. That’s when the “real” questions began rolling out in earnest. Many of the students asked about my worldwide travels. Some of the students asked about my experience as a veteran. Others asked questions related to my experience as a published author. And then someone’s daughter asked, “What’s better: street smarts or book smarts?” It was a great question, and we spent some time as a group delineating the benefits of both… and just how far each type of “smarts” could comparatively carry one in life. But it was one question in particular that made me smile, think, and re-think before providing an honest, forthright response. The question? Someone’s son said... “Mr. Clark… What makes you… you?” Either in partial denial or outright disbelief that such a question could spring forth from this (obviously) gifted fourteen-year-old boy, I said, “Excuse me… I don’t think I heard you.” With a strong, quiet confidence, he re-stated his question: “What makes you… you?” My smile belied the vertigo that accompanied the giddiness swirling back and forth, in and around my mind, body, and soul as a I saw and felt every teenaged pair of eyes slightly narrow and focus intently on my face as I pondered such a profoundly personal question. Indeed, I already knew the answer… Yet, I was so pleasantly surprised by the depth and richness of his question, that I had to separate myself from my own emotions as I stood in awe of his ability to provoke such a powerful response amidst a very evocative, innocent, self-seeking inquiry. So… for a brief second or two, I literally separated my thoughts from my emotions; I had to do this in order to formulate exactly HOW I was going to answer such an awesome question. As humans, we all have the capability to invoke this separation of emotions and thoughts at any time. Of course, like our much-maligned dietary and exercise habits, just because we CAN do something, doesn’t mean we will always do it. Accordingly, as a species, we will continue to argue, fuss, fight… and wage war. The 17th-century French philosopher René Descartes argued that only humans have the capability to be conscious of their very own self, thoughts and emotions included. I’m not so sure he was correct (To wit: unless he was well-skilled in the art of shape-shifting, how could he possibly know what other animals see, think, feel, or know?). Descartes was a brilliant philosopher, mathematician, and writer who is widely considered to be the father of modern philosophy, as well as the father of analytical geometry, the bridge between algebra and geometry. His theories were vital to the discovery of infinitesimal calculus and analysis. Indeed: he was a brilliant man. He was also a dualist. Unlike Monistic philosophers, Descartes believed the mind and body are separate, distinct entities. On this theory, I agree wholeheartedly (that’s a pun). Perhaps best known for the quote, “I think; therefore I am,” Descartes had a fiercely logical thought process. And yet, during and after his lifetime, there has been much debate on whether he was an atheist, agnostic, or a God-fearing Catholic. Where am I going with this? If you really think about it, the universe of things that we will never know is staggering. And as much knowledge as he imparted to the human species, in the final analysis, Descartes left us with one very important reminder of what makes us… us. Yet, our innate ability to think has proven to be as much of a blessing at it is a curse. We are all too often unreasonably reasonable with each other. Hunh? Ironically, it is the unreasonable people who have transformed our world into the dynamic network that it is today. Guglielmo Marconi is credited with creating the radio; yet he was criticized for believing in such “hogwash.” (He was actually committed to an asylum for such crazy thoughts like, “I can send voices through the air and make them come out of an electrified box several miles away.” Imagine what he would say about YouTube, iChat, Skype, and that time machine I have been developing!) Henry Ford was unreasonable in his quest to have every family in America own a car. Today, many families own two or three cars. And because of the success of Ford’s assembly line, other complex machines were soon available to the mass market. Steve Jobs helped create a company that some say has changed the world. And because of his vision to make cool, quality stuff, Apple owns the computer marketplace (this includes portable computing devices like iPods, iPhones, laptops, and desktops… as well as the Napster-sprung iTunes). The list goes on and on. These “unreasonable” people changed the world. But more importantly, these unreasonable people had the wherewithal to separate themselves from the criticism, cronyism, and capitalism just long enough to create what they needed to create… and then figured out how to leverage those same critics, cronies, and capital to launch products that you and I use to this very day. But what about you? Are you reasonable or unreasonable? Regardless of your answer, please know that you – yes YOU - change the world every single day. Perhaps you don’t see your self as the world-changing type. However… If you don’t do anything else today, please take a moment and realize one very important FACT: You change the world wherever you go. The question is… How do you change it? Do you add to the problem or the solution? Indeed, almost every challenge has a solution. And for many of us, the biggest problems are based on people, not processes. And all too often, we get caught up in our emotions and thoughts of grandeur, when all we really need to do is separate ourselves from those life-changing idiosyncrasies. We don’t need a vast expanse of time to do achieve success in this endeavor. Often, we just need to KNOW that we have such a capability. And once we realize we have this capability, we can then refine it. Shall we begin? Try this… Using the hourly chimes from a clock, watch, or smartphone, consistently and periodically take a long, deep breath and ask yourself **how** you are thinking. Literally think or, better yet, audibly ask yourself, “Am I thinking positively?” Literally separate your self from your thoughts. Yes: It IS possible to do this. After asking your self that question, if your thoughts were already positive, simply renew, refresh, and rejuvenate your previously positive thoughts. On the other hand, if your thoughts were previously negative, simply separate the past from the present and ask yourself, “Why am I being negative?” This is a very important question. Do not underestimate the power of this question! As stated in my blog post, "What Is A Good Philosophy," knowledge and wisdom are two different things. Indeed, we all KNOW that some things seem to get in the way of having a fabulous life. However, many of us don't know WHY this or that bothers us. And when stopping to ask, "WHY am I being negative?" you not only separate your thoughts from your emotions, you also initiate a powerful journey from the "old" you to the "new" you. When you understand the drivers behind your thoughts and emotions, you create a pathway between knowledge and wisdom; you literally create a solution with the one thing in this world that you control: YOU. By increasing awareness of your SELF, you are better informed on what makes you tick, what makes you sick, and which habits you should kick. This is good info! (And that’s an outrageous understatement). Remember: Negative thoughts can’t exist in the same thought-space as your positive thoughts. Unfortunately, throughout the day, external media can influence (and create) many of our negative thoughts. Television shows, talk radio, pop culture, friends, family members, and everyday people can have a very formative impact on how we think. Don't be afraid to simply separate your self from those influences. Walk away if you can. Run if you must. And if the situation negates your ability to separate your self from those influences, please consider using my ultra-simple and super-powerful mantra to: Accept. Adapt. Achieve. ® Believe me, trust me, and allow me to convey exactly how much trial and error that has gone into developing that little mantra: A LOT! I won’t go into detail here, but I will briefly describe the beauty of this short, simple mantra: Acceptance is all about leaving the past exactly where it is. Adapting is all about negotiating success in the moment - now. And, as much as those other two are very important, it is this last one, Achieve, that I must give the title of "Most Important." Yes: we must all accept what is and move past the past... or choose to live in denial. And yes: the one constant that we all live with is change (or adapting). But as we move from day to day and from minute to minute (especially during those maddening meetings or meandering medleys we call relationships), we must do what we rarely take time to do: we must first ask ourselves "What it is that we want to Achieve (?)" Thus, we must first begin with end in mind. If we can periodically, if not continuously, do this... over time, we will learn to not only successfully negotiate with "what is," we will also amass an almost ridiculous power to actually co-create amazing results with some rather interesting people. Yes: you and I know that this world is full of some rather unreasonable, seemingly insane individuals. But the truth of the matter is that everyone adds value to our world. Indeed, finding and seeing that value takes less effort with some people than with others. Or does it? Maybe it's us. Maybe WE are the cracked lens that skews the view. Maybe. In the final analysis, regardless of how strong, independent, and accomplished we are, there will always be those (good and bad) things that influence us. As you power through this day and the next… and the next… learn to identify the effects of your influential inputs and invest time and effort in separating yourself from the negative influences (especially people). Clean your glasses by purposefully and proactively separating your self from your thoughts... and the things that cause those thoughts. Today, I dare you... Separate your self. If that's not possible, Accept. Adapt. Achieve. ® Ahhh… but what do you want to achieve? ********** Indeed… It’s all about YOU. But tell me: What’s your role in your soul, …your goal, and for whom the bell tolls? Today, I dare you: SEPARATE your thoughts. READ MORE...  John H. Clark III is an optimistic realist. He believes better development of leaders is what we (all) need. And to be better organizations, we need more good leaders, not followers. To build better leaders, we must start with the individual (you, she, he, and me). Described as “an innovative leader,” John teaches leaders, organizations, and individuals how to inspire each other. With a bold goal to inspire a worldwide community of optimistic realists who continuously accept, adapt to, and achieve the bold and beautiful concept of The Ideal Life, John is leading a movement to inspire people to apply his trademarked mantra {Accept. Adapt. Achieve! ®}. An innovative business manager and retired naval officer, John is fascinated by leaders and organizations that make the greatest impact within their organizational culture and within the “real” world — people who “get it.” Over the course of his life as a military leader, corporate mentor, and innovative content creator, John has discovered a wealth of insight about how we think, act and communicate within our respective work/life environments. As a career naval officer, mentor, educator, and optimistic realist, he has devoted his life to sharing insights to assist in our quests to become better at what we all do – live @ work! An optimist with a penchant for writing about realistic solutions to the challenges of everyday life, John is the author of 3 books: a leadership-development insider, "The Ideal: Your guide to An Ideal Life," a teen-focused guide, "Getting Out: Expert Advice for Today’s Teens," and the Christian-based book, "God’s Heartbeat: A Powerful Premise for Leading a Christian Life." He delivers a unique and refreshing point of view to life's seemingly overwhelming situations. Through books, blogs, and everyday conversation, John's message resonates with an empowering blend of ideals that enrich, uplift, and “authorize” people to set and achieve goals far beyond current mindsets. His trademarked phrase is a winner:  |
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