Day 26 - Two Little Words - Fear Not

True story… about 5 years ago, before I sat down to pen a few thoughts, there was a loud, jarring knock at the front door of the Clark Family home.  The loud knock alone was enough to startle me from my keyboard, sending me trotting down the stairs.  The fact that this loud knocking came at 8:30 on a Friday night was especially unsettling. 
 
As I shuttled down the stairs, turned on the porch light, and opened the front door, a rather unassuming man carrying a clipboard greeted me with a handshake and a smile.  He quickly introduced himself and casually mentioned that he was just across the street, talking to my neighbor, Scott. 
 
We chatted for about five minutes, and he repeatedly pressed me to explain why I did not want to consider purchasing a home security system.  I provided no such justification, and subsequently requested his business card, and suggested that he “have a good night.”
 
As I strolled back into the family room where my wife and daughters sat coloring, my wife asked, “What was he selling?”
 
         “Fear,” I said.  
 
          “He was selling fear.”
 
           And I was not in the market for fear.
 
In these challenging times, though, fear has made a roaring comeback.
 
To be sure, during a pandemic, one must make a clear distinction between paranoia (which is a type of irrational fear) and a realistic fear (a rational fear that has a generally accepted and solid foundation in Truth).
 
Hundreds of years ago, fear had a very real and very frequent place in the life of humans.   
 
When faced with wild animals, merciless men, and life-threatening weather, we kept fear first and foremost sacred in our minds.  And for good reason!  In the Pleistocene period and as recent as the last time we walked into a dark room, all alone in a house, our mind created fear to assist our bodies in the preparation for an onslaught of life-threatening possibilities.
 
Yet, despite all of the very real and rationally fearful things that potentially threaten us every single day… 
 
…fear, itself, has no valid home… unless we give it a home.
 
Interestingly, before we give it a home, fear has to be created by us.
 
And there you have it. 
 
That is the reason why I politely directed the salesman off my porch that evening 5 years ago: I was not buying the fear that he was selling.
 
And neither should you.
 
As we have witnessed over the last 45 days, a life fueled by fear is a crappy life.
 
Accordingly, today I ask you to dispense with fear.  
 
How? 
 
Let’s refer back to what I said above: before you give it a home, fear has to be created by you. 
 
In a beautiful, if not tragic irony, fear is created AND destroyed by the EXACT… SAME… MIND.
 
And in the final analysis, if you focus on your fear, you will water the hell out of the ugliest weed in your proverbial garden.  
 
Or… you can simply make the choice to invest in the opposite of fear.  
 
[Do you know what “the opposite of fear” is?] *
 
So today, as you awake… breathe, be thankful, be patient, and be encouraged.  In fact, I empower you to be fear-less.  That’s right, this electronic post henceforth empowers you to become fear-less.
 
Now fear-less is not the same thing as fearless.  
 
Huh?
 
Fear-less is simply being less full of fear (less fearful).
 
On the other hand, fearless is defined as being unafraid or devoid of all fear… also known as “stupid.”
 
In the photo above, I completed a tandem skydive on Friday the 13th.  It was one of the most exhilarating experiences in my life.  While I was boarding the aircraft and preparing to take off with a few friends who joined me, we all watched as another parachutist landed too quickly and broke his femur bone (the largest bone in the human body).  
 
How do you think he will view subsequent Fridays falling on the 13th?
 
After seeing the ambulance crew ease the man onto a stretcher and head down Farrington Highway en route to the hospital, we all felt a tad bit more fearful.
 
But we were not full of fear.  Accordingly, we went forward with our plans to jump out of a perfectly good airplane.
 
Indeed, for you and me, there are certain things of which we must be mindful and perhaps somewhat careful, if not fearful.  But to be fearful is not to be confused with “being full of fear.”
 
No… we can be concerned, careful, and cautious.  And we very well should be.
 
But we should also be hopeful, faithful, grateful, and purposeful.
 
In fact, the more time, energy, and effort we give to being hopeful, faithful, grateful, and purposeful, the less time, energy, and effort we have to give to being fearful.
 
Accordingly, today, I ask you:
 
FEAR NOT.
 
Aloha,
John

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* BTW: The opposite of fear is not courage.
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The opposite of fear is an increased trust.
 
Trust your perfect imperfections.
 
Trust your uniqueness.
 
Trust your S.E.L.F.
 
You can do this! 
 
WE can do this!
 
You and me.
 
We.
 
~

John H. Clark III is an optimistic realist.

Principal consultant at The PIE Group, and Executive Director of TeenBuilding USA, [a non-profit 501c(3)], John believes better development of leaders is what we (all) need.  And to be better organizations, we need more good leaders, not followers. To build better leaders, we must start with the individual (you, she, he, and me).
 
Described as “an innovative leader,” John teaches leaders, organizations, and individuals how to inspire each other. With a bold goal to inspire a worldwide community of optimistic realists who continuously accept, adapt to, and achieve the bold and beautiful concept of The Ideal Life, John is leading a movement to inspire people to apply his trademarked mantra {Accept. Adapt. Achieve! ®}.
 
An innovative business manager and retired naval officer, John is fascinated by leaders and organizations that make the greatest impact within their organizational culture and within the “real” world — people who “get it.” Over the course of his life as a military leader, corporate mentor, and innovative content creator, John has discovered a wealth of insight about how we think, act and communicate within our respective work/life environments. As a career naval officer, mentor, educator, and optimistic realist, he has devoted his life to sharing insights to assist in our quests to become better at what we all do – live @ work!
 
An optimist with a penchant for writing about realistic solutions to the challenges of everyday life, John is the author of 3 books: a leadership-development insider, The Ideal: Your guide to An Ideal Life, a teen-focused guide, Getting Out: Expert Advice for Today’s Teens, and the Christian-based book, God’s Heartbeat: A Powerful Premise for Leading a Christian Life.
 
He delivers a unique and refreshing point of view to life's seemingly overwhelming situations. 
 
Through books, blogs, and everyday conversation, John's message resonates with an empowering blend of ideals that enrich, uplift, and “authorize” people to set and achieve goals far beyond current mindsets.  His trademarked phrase is a winner: